The Courage to Feel: Transforming Fear and Anxiety into Growth

By Fleet Maull, PhD

Living with Uncertainty: A Call to Courage In these turbulent times, when political polarization, economic instability, climate concerns, and technological upheaval seem to converge at once, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Add in the relentless drumbeat of fear-driven news cycles, and the world can appear to be teetering on the edge of chaos.

And yet—here we are. Living, breathing, growing human beings, still capable of hope, creativity, and resilience.

Today, I want to offer a different perspective on fear and anxiety. Rather than seeing them as enemies to be defeated or problems to be eradicated, what if we chose to work with them—creatively and courageously? What if, instead of shrinking from our discomfort, we could walk toward it, and through it, into new levels of resilience and freedom?

This path isn’t necessarily easy. But it’s profoundly transformational—and absolutely within your reach.

Understanding Anxiety: Your Nervous System at Work Let’s start by normalizing anxiety. At its most basic, anxiety is simply a nervous system response—a state of heightened arousal in the autonomic nervous system. You can think of it as a seesaw between two branches:

•  Sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight): alertness, mobilization, tension

• Parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest): relaxation, recovery, restoration
  

These systems are in constant, dynamic interplay. When the balance tips heavily toward sympathetic activation without sufficient recovery, anxiety can build, creating physical, emotional, and cognitive loops that reinforce distress.

The critical thing to know? For most of us, anxiety, though profoundly uncomfortable, is not life-threatening. It's workable. It's a doorway we can choose to walk through, into greater freedom and resilience.

Finding Your Window of Tolerance Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel coined the term "window of tolerance" to describe the range of emotional intensity that we can handle while staying regulated, present, and flexible.

When we move outside that window, two reactive patterns tend to emerge:

• Hyperarousal: rigidity, obsessiveness, anger, panic

• Hypoarousal: shutdown, dissociation, numbness
  

Life experiences—especially trauma, criticism, and chronic stress—can narrow our window of tolerance over time. Avoidance behaviors, although providing short-term relief, also constrict this window further, leaving us feeling even more fragile and reactive.

Our work is not to eliminate fear and anxiety, but to expand our window of tolerance. To be able to stay present with our full, messy, magnificent human experience.

Self-Soothing: Building the Foundation When anxiety becomes overwhelming, the first step is to soothe and regulate your nervous system.

Breathwork offers one of the most direct and accessible tools. Inhaling slightly activates the sympathetic system; exhaling stimulates the parasympathetic. Slow, conscious breathing—especially emphasizing the out-breath—can be profoundly calming.

However, for some people, focusing on the breath can itself feel triggering. If that’s the case, there are many other gentle ways to reconnect with safety and balance:

• Walking in nature

• Gentle physical exercise

• EFT tapping (emotional freedom technique)

• Listening to soothing music

• Warm baths

• Time with trusted friends or beloved pets

• Savoring a cup of tea mindfully
  

Find what genuinely works for you. Self-soothing isn’t about avoiding your experience—it’s about creating the conditions in which deeper exploration becomes possible.

Acceptance: The Radical Move One of the most powerful and counterintuitive strategies for working with anxiety is acceptance. So often, our resistance to fear is what intensifies it. The internal message—"This shouldn’t be happening!"—creates a feedback loop of distress. Instead, practice simple acknowledgment:  "I’m feeling anxious right now."

Then, bring curiosity to your experience:

• Where do I feel it in my body?

• What sensations are present?

• What thoughts are looping through my mind?

• What emotions are accompanying this experience?

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or being passive. It means allowing what’s already here to be seen and felt, without adding layers of resistance, judgment, or self-blame.

When we stop fighting our internal weather, the storm often begins to pass on its own.

Beyond Avoidance: Leaning Into Growth Avoidance is the default human response to discomfort. But while short-term distractions can sometimes be necessary, chronic avoidance reinforces the very patterns that keep us stuck.

The practice, then, is to gently lean toward what feels uncomfortable, with compassion and without overwhelming yourself. Picture a dimmer switch, rather than a light that's on or off. You don’t need to throw yourself into the deep end. You just need to turn toward your experience, even slightly, with openness and curiosity.

Through small, consistent steps, you begin to rewire your nervous system. You expand your capacity to be with life, as it is.

Embodiment: Healing Through the Body True healing happens through the body. Anxiety, trauma, and unprocessed fear are not just ideas in our heads—they live in our muscles, tissues, and fascia. They are felt experiences.

Mindfulness meditation, when practiced with embodied awareness, offers a powerful pathway for healing. Gently anchoring your attention in your body, even in simple ways like feeling your feet on the ground or noticing the sensations of your breath, begins to reconnect you with your innate resilience.

If connecting with bodily sensations feels overwhelming, be gentle with yourself. Begin where you can. Work at the edges of your window of tolerance.

As Peter Levine describes in his work on trauma healing (somatic experiencing), we can "pendulate"—moving between discomfort and comfort, between fear and safety—gradually building the capacity to stay present with more of our experience.  Healing is not about pushing through; it’s about cultivating wise and courageous presence.

The Hero’s Journey: Your Invitation You are already on a hero’s journey—simply by living, breathing, and showing up each day in this complex, beautiful, painful world.  Each challenge you face is an opportunity. Not an easy one—but a real one. The question is: Will you answer the call?

Will you see your fear and anxiety not as signs of failure, but as invitations to grow stronger, wiser, and more compassionate? Will you seek the support, the practices, and the community you need to walk this path of transformation?

This is the deep work of living awake. This is the path of personal evolution and ultimate liberation.

At Heart Mind Institute, we’re committed to walking that path with you—to offering tools, teachings, and community support for the journey.

An Invitation to Grow Together If fear and anxiety are showing up strongly in your life right now, know that you are not alone. These are universal human experiences, intensified by the unique pressures of our times.  And they are workable. They are transformable. They can become gateways to greater freedom, deeper compassion, and unexpected joy.

We invite you to join us for the upcoming Fear and Anxiety World Summit, where more than 40 renowned teachers and clinicians will share practical tools, deep wisdom, and transformational insights.

You are stronger than you know. You are more resilient than you realize. And the courage you seek is already alive within you—waiting for your embrace.